Winter ONEderland

My baby shower for Patrick was in a snow storm, he was born in a snow storm, most of his early doctors appointments were in snow storms... so it was only fitting to do his first birthday as a snow theme.  I had a lot of fun with the Winter ONEderland party.

We were able to have the party at our new house (yay!  one of the reasons I was so ready for more space... to host parties).  I invited our close friends that had kids and otherwise it was mainly family.  We had about 40 people attend.

Decor-

I wanted everything to be in the aqua, red and white theme.  So I started by contact a friend of a friend who does print work and she set the theme by designing the invitations.  Once we did the invitations, all the other details were easy to follow.  Tara at To a T did an awesome job doing all of the little details I love about parties but just can't do myself (birthday banner, high chair banner, food tents, invitations, cupcake toppers, and thank you cards).

Besides the paper signs, my sister in law made a super cool pine cone garlin and my mom and sister made me snow man center pieces.  Then I just added some snow flakes and balloons and we had ourself a winter onederland.  I also made a "1" photo collage of my favorite pictures from throughout the year.  I did it for Ryan's first birthday and I still love looking at it.  Favors I went through Oriental Trading and just got a bunch of random winter themed things like mini footballs, stickers, stamps, and then filled it with silver hersey kisses. 

Food-

This was pretty easy for me.  I knew I wanted to do a chili bar and a hot chocolate bar and I wanted everything to fit within the winter theme.  I made three different types of chili (white chicken and bean, traditional chunky chili, and pumpkin chili with ground turkey).  Then I added all the fixins (cheese, sour cream, hot sauce, jalapenos, crushed fritos, cilantro, green onions) and let everyone have a chili tasting.  This was super easy because I was able to prep all the food ahead of time, let it just cook in the crockpots all day, and they were ready to be served whenever people wanted to try them.  There was no official sit and eat time, it was a help yourself style dinner.  I included a side salad, macaroni and cheese, and corn bread to go along with the chili.

Dessert was also pretty simple-  I had a friend make the cupcakes for the guest and a smash cake for Patrick.  Both were delicious.  Besides the cupcakes, I had powdered munch kins for "snowballs" and my mother in law brought very yummy Melted Snowmen (kind of like a cake pop type dessert).  But the most important part of my dessert options was the Hot Chocolate Bar.  I made a huge batch of home made hot chocolate and let it stay warm in the crock pot.  Then I put out all kinds of fun things to mix with it... mini chocolate chips, marshmallows, whipped cream, cinnamon, cinnamon sticks, candy canes, and of course Baileys for the adults.  I think it was a success- most of the stuff was gone by the end of the party.

We all had a great time!  Here are some pictures from the actual party-

Patrick is One!

I am a month late, but better late than never.  Patrick turned 1 last month and we had a great time celebrating.  The next post will be about the party, for now it will be all about him.  Here are all the special things about Patrick as he hit the 1 year milestone.

- He weighs 20lbs (25%) and 30 inches (75-90%) so apparently he is tall and skinny.  Don't remember the head measurements, but that was also 90-95% so most of his weight is in his big head.

- He is finally sleeping through the night AND going to sleep on his own!  Woooo Hooo!  This finally happened right around Christmas.  I kept hearing about kids who didn't sleep until they were one, and I guess he was one of them.  He now sleeps from 6:30/7pm-6:30-7am.  Mommy is happy!

-Naps are a different story, they are better in the fact that he can finally fall asleep on his own- but they are still very inconsistent.  A lot of days are still 30 minutes, 1 hours are slowly becoming a bit more regular, and a 2 hour nap happened one time so far!  But regardless, its much better than it was and he is definitely more rested.

-Now on to the fun things-  He loves music, to dance, and clap his hands along with it.  He has one Mickey mouse toy that is his favorite to dance to and he loves the "Get Up and Dance" commercial from Disney Jr.

-He cruising, crawling, climbing, and bear crawling all over the place.  He doesn't have any interest in walking yet, but he finds ways to get around.

-He loves to push things around- his high chair, Ryan's stool, toys... anything he can move.

-This month he has mastered climbing the stairs, and he is starting to get the concept of going down feet first from things.

-He loves the sight of himself in a mirror.  He waves and smiles big as soon as we walk past one.

-We are working on blowing kisses, he has about half the process down, but still working on it.

-When you say nap time, he will start waving bye bye and blowing kisses right away, even if no one else is around to see it.

-A favorite activity is taking things out of a container and then putting it back in.  He is constantly moving things in and out of various objects.

-Mickey Mouse is the one TV show that catches his attention right now.

-He loves to chase and tackle.  Before bedtime Ryan and Patrick get play time with Daddy and its pretty much a big wrestling match.

-He eats EVERYTHING! Like seriously eats all foods all the time.  I am surprised his weight is still lower considering how much he eats.  I still have him on a mainly fruits and veggies and protein kind of diet... but he enjoys trying  things like crackers for the first time.  I already understand the meaning of "they are eating me out of house and home"... I can't image what it will be like when they are teenagers.

-Fingers crossed, I do not think he has any allergies... he shows no signs of food irritation, so he eats what we eat most days.

-After turning one we started the transition off of formula to organic whole milk, and now I am weaning him off the bottle and much less oz of milk.  So he gets a morning bottle and a bedtime bottle (6oz) and a sippy cup of milk sometime during the day.  I am not a big milk fan, so I will continue to wean him to smaller amounts and replace it with other good fats/nutritious foods.

-He still only has 2 teeth!  Very slow teether.  I can see the top two are coming in, but they did not break through yet.

-He is at a pretty clingy stage.  He wants to be held and carried and played with at all times.  He does not like when I wash dishes or cook dinner.  He has also showed us that he knows how to throw a pretty good temper tantrum.  They don't happen often, but we have seen it appear a few times.  The first time he had one of these fits, my mom and I seriously just laughed at him because it was so funny.  I am interested to see how his personality continues to emerge this year.

-Generally he is a happy, peaceful baby.  He loves attention and to cuddle.  He has a very silly two tooth smile, and he loves his brother!

-For future me (if I decide to go down this crazy road again)- here is his 1 year schedule.

6:30-7:00 wake up
7-7:30 bottle (normally while hanging out in our bed as we get ready for work)
8:00 breakfast and play time
10:00 morning nap- this one is normally pretty short
11:30 milk sippy cup or snack
12:00-12:30 lunch with Ryan and play time
2:00 afternoon nap- this one we have a better chance at being longer
3:30 ish snacks
5-5:30 dinner
6:30 bath some nights (poor second kid gets baths way less frequently) and bedtime routine
bedtime is pjs and clean diaper, read a quick book, bottle in the rocking chair and then I lay him down and walk out.

Again because he is a second child, the schedule is much more flexible than it was with Ryan.  He tags along with me for school drop offs and pick ups and birthday parties and speech/OT... but generally thats the schedule we aim for.

 -So things are great, and he is doing great.  I am loving being a mom to these two boys and can't wait to report back next year!

Pulled in too many directions

I have to take 15 minutes out of my day to write.  It's kind of like my therapy.  I feel like I am being pulled in 17 different directions and I am at a breaking point of keeping it all under control.  I know I am not happy with a lot of whats going on in my crazy world, I feel like my life is just a bit out of sync... but I am really struggling on how to fix it.

Let me first say that I really truly understand how blessed I am.  I know my "problems" and stresses are very "first world problems" as they say these days.  After 2.5 years of house shopping craziness we are finally settled into our beautiful new house in a dream neighborhood.  I have two very happy, healthy boys, and a very supportive, loving husband.  My extended family is amazing and I have best friends that have been by my my side more than half my life.  Life is good... very good!  But right now, we are in a phase (and have been for about 6 months) where life is messy and the pressure is real and I am having a hard time digging out of this rut.

My job situation is not working- and I don't know how to fix it.  My income is dropping yet I feel like I am working more and more each week.  My job description at the office is constantly changing and I feel very unsettled there, meanwhile my out of the house business is slowly deteriorating.  I am concentrating my efforts on a new direction of the hair business (bridal hair) but I need time and effort and money to build that up before I can start seeing the income benefits.  I don't feel like there is anything I am really good at, and I definitely can't answer "what makes  you happy" in regards to my work.  I'm putting 75% effort into everything and really not growing in any direction.

The greater problem is I need a certain income every month, I am not hitting that number, so I need to work more.  If I work more I need more paid daycare, which then takes away from the income number.  I could re-build my hair business and work more nights and weekends but now that we are in the new house I don't really have a professional working space.... do we spend the money to build another salon space or spend it building up the bridal hair side of things which doesn't need a salon??  Either way that doesn't help the income issue we are having right this second.  Do I find a new job?  Go back to work teaching full time?  Concentrate more on the office job even though the future is uncertain?  All of these questions have been weighing on me every single day for months now.... I keep waiting for the light bulb moment when I finally feel like "hey that can work".  Its not happening, and in the mean time its leading to some pretty rough times on the home front.  Including sitting in tears on our date night because we were both feeling so overwhelmed and can't seem to make anything work.

On top of that, there is trouble at work and I am being pulled beyond what should be expected to keep the peace.  I am trying to get Ryan signed up for a new OT and Speech program.  I am trying to spend more quality time with my kids... like significant meaningful moments, not just watch tv and play.  I am trying to cook dinner more often to save money on eating out.  I want to spend more time with my husband and stop the constant attitude and arguing over the stresses of day to day life.  I need more me time to do something that makes me happy.  I am missing all of my best friends that live all over the east coast... but barely have enough time to get together with the one that lives 15 minutes away, never mind travel 6-10 hours to see the others.  I want to meet new friends that are in similar situations as me, but I just don't even know how to do that.  I want to decorate our new house, and plan a vacation for my cousins wedding, I want to sit and blog about Patrick's first birthday and update on all the amazing things the boys are doing these days.  For goodness sake, I want to sit and watch a full TV show at night after the kids are sleeping.  There simply is not enough time in the day.

My brain is just cluttered.... the to-do list is getting longer.  The budget is getting tighter.  The work situation is getting more stressful.  Quality family time is being sacrificed.  I feel super lonely since Mike and I don't seem to be on the same page and most of my mommy friends are all in their own unique situations.  It's all just so overwhelming.

How do I find the balance between being a great mom, a great wife, support my family financially, be successful in my career, find time for my passions.... and most importantly be happy (which ultimately will help the whole family be happy)?!  If you have the secret... I am sure many of us multitasking moms would like to know!

For now the big step one is getting off social media.  I haven't quit cold turkey, but I have realized how much angst it makes me feel.  The articles, the posts, the pictures of everyone's seemingly perfect families....It makes me feel like I am not doing enough for my kids, we aren't going to enough fun places, I haven't crafted enough, I haven't gone on a super cool vacation or girls night....  you get the picture.  I end up feeling bad about myself and it just adds more pressure to keep up with the Jones'.  And most importantly.... its a time killer.  So I"m done.  I am going to try to re-invest that time and energy into something else.

That's it for now... my heart and emotions wrapped up on a blog post.  I know its just a phase... but one I am certainly having a really hard time getting out of.

The night before baby boy's birthday

The food is prepped, the house is clean, the decorations are ready to be put up and the smash cake has been delivered... Must mean one thing- tomorrow is Patrick's first birthday! Man this year flew by. I feel like we have barely had a minute to blink and take it all in. Right before my eyes my little tiny baby has turned into a one year old who likes to spend his time climbing up the stairs over and over again.

I'll update on the party and all the happenings of Patricks monthly update some time this week. But for now I am just a ball of emotions remembering how I felt this time last year. I can remember the snow forecast and making plans for Ryan to sleep at grandmas "just in case" (thank god we made those plans). I remember driving him to the sleep over and starting to get regular contractions and wondering if it was the real thing. I remember walking around Home Depot with Mike, feeling contractions every 5 minutes but still arguing over light fixtures for our kitchen. And I remember the snow starting to stick on the ground and talking to mike and my mom and my doula trying to decide if it was time to get to the hospital.

It was a long labor, a very long labor, and I still say it's the most unbelievable thing I have experienced, but it was also so unbelievably special. Watching the blizzard through the windows, progressing very slowly, having my team (Mike, Mom, Dr. Azu and Nicole) around me the entire 26 hours, and screaming my head off begging for it to be over. And of course, at 5:50pm 1/3 it was finally over and I met my second baby boy. The feeling if relief is like nothing I have ever felt before.

My first impression of Patrick was "wow look at that cone head" hahaha. Seriously it was a crazy cone head. And also that I didn't want him out of my arms. I made the nurses do his check up while I held him, no baths just yet, no visitors please.... I just wanted that special bonding moment with him.

It's been an amazing year full of highs and lows and LOTS of sleepless nights/Napless days (come on kid please sleep better soon!). Being a mom is hard, being a mom of two even harder... It's a rocky journey, but I have loved it all. Can't wait to see what this year holds for us!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Home Sweet Home

I guess now that we are living in our new home, I can make it "blog official"... we bought a new home and moved in last week!!!

The process started about 2 months ago, but after so many ups and downs with real estate over the past two years, I didn't really believe it to be true until we had the keys in our hands.  I was so afraid of jinxing a good thing.  Anyway, here is the background story.

Mike got the itch again to start house shopping in August.  We looked at a few (one we even put an offer in, not sure if I wrote about it or not).  When we first saw our now home, we thought it was out of our price range.  Ironically, one day while driving around for work meetings, I passed a few streets and thought to myself "This would be the perfect area to fit our needs".  It was a beautiful family neighborhood, on the side of Toms River I preferred, good schools, easy access to and from the parkway... there was just something I liked about that section of town.  That night Mike said he wanted to show me a house he likes but was out of our price range.  Well the house was in the exact neighborhood I was dreaming about just earlier that day.

Fast forward version-  We saw the house.  It was smelly, and oddly furnished, and outdated in many rooms, with very strange owners.  BUT It had all the qualities we were looking for.  And to make it even better, it was the perfect compromise for Mike and I... neighborhood that I wanted, space that Mike wanted (almost 1 acre!!).  We returned a few times to see it, showed our family, and put in an offer.  After a few negotiations, we got it for the price we wanted!

The next month was full of mortgage dramas.  Literally until the day of closing, and even now continuing after closing, we had issues and complications getting a mortgage.  After a lot of stress and work, we closed on our new home on November 17.

Like I mentioned before, the house needs some TLC.  It has great bones- the open floor plan, 4 bedrooms, large basement, but it was not kept up well.  The game plan was to spend from November 17- 26 doing as much as we possibly could to get it ready for move in.  I was very serious about moving in before December so that we could spend the month of Christmas enjoying the house, not working on the house.

The to-do list for move in:
-Paint the entire house
-New carpets upstairs and family room
-Totally re-do the half bathroom
-Pull up carpets in the upstairs bathrooms (yes carpets, gross)
-All new appliances
-Shampoo the living room/dining room carpets
-Change all locks
-New hardware in the kitchen

I am very excited to announce we did it all!  Mike worked all day at his job and then came to work all night on the house.  He got a lot of help from my dad and his dad, and some from friends, and they did a great job.  I spent all that time taking care of the boys and packing the house,  Not an easy task with two little helpers, but I also got it done.

So now we have been living here for about a week and I am so happy.  Relieved to know where we are going to be living and no longer house shopping.  Thrilled that we got a good deal.  And excited about all the things we plan to do over time to make this our home.  The list of projects is very long, but this house has potential for all the things we want.  Even the small changes we have made so far made a huge difference.  It till take a little bit of time, but I know it will feel like home soon!

Here are a few before pictures:

I will be posting about each room and area as we work on this continuous DIY project.  Lots of before and after pictures.  But the first one I have is the half bathroom.  Its not 100% yet, still needs some touch up paint, caulk, and decor... but you will get the idea.

Before:

After:

The boys are loving their new home, and I am really enjoying watching them explore.  Patrick just crawls from room to room to room to check it all out.  Ryan's first day here was awesome.  He was just so excited and happy.  He finally has his play room and a backyard he deserves.  He kept shouting "This is super awesome"  and "I loooooveeeee my new house".  Every day he asks me to invite people over so they can plan and see his new back yard.  Those moments last Sunday made the chaos well worth it.

Its not 100% smooth sailing yet.  Ryan is extra emotional this week, he has a hard time adapting to change.  He has also said a few time "okay, its time to go back to our real house now".  But just like for me, it will take all of us a little bit of time before this is our "home."

Adventures in the life of a mom

Today I am home with the boys. I don't have to work til 4:30. But like all moms do (I assume), I filled my day at home with a long list of things to be done. Most of my to do list is the normal stuff.... Laundry, make dinner, call Comcast, clean the bathrooms, but I had one very important thing that had to be done by mid day today.

The task was simple- get cash from the bank and take it to the carpet guy. Three hours later, I am just now home from what turn into quite an adventure.

Here is how a simple task turns into an adventure when doing it with a toddler and a baby.

It's a super cold day today, so to make the car ride a little more fun I was going to turn it into a movie day. I let Ryan wear his slippers, bring a blanket and two favorite stuffed animal friends. We are all finally buckled in and I can't get the DVD player to load the DVD. After multiple attempts I give up and go back inside the house for the iPad. This movie car ride is a fail without the movie part. Get back in the car to find that the iPad has about 15% battery remaining. No worries, I have 3 chargers in the car.... Except- none of the 3 chargers work. Here we are about to spend over an hour in the car and we have no DVD or iPad that works. Oh well, I had to get this done so off we went.

Arrive at the bank- no problems there thank goodness. But that's just about when Ryan makes his first announcement that he has to pee. I leave the bank, find the nearest wawa and start unloading the boys. That's when I realize Ryan has no shoes, just the slippers I let him wear for his movie ride. I am now attempting to carry both Ryan and Patrick in my arms into the wawa for an emergency pee break.

We manage to get in and out pretty quickly. Get Ryan buckled in and now I'm working on Patrick. This is just about the time I hear the dreaded explosive poop come out of Patrick's little bum. Immediately I know it's a bad one. A quick glance down the side of his pants and I see it's a full blowout.

I reach for his diaper bag, and realize I don't have it!!! I have Ryan's emergency bag, but no diaper bag. And of course the back up diaper and wipes I normally carry in Ryan's bag had been taken out just the other day. I have no change of clothes and no diaper for Patrick's poopy mess.

Decision time- I'm about half way to the carpet store. Do I keep going or turn around to change Patrick?? Don't judge me, I kept going.

Thankfully we make it to the carpet store- make the quick cash drop off and then we are on our way home. Patrick fell asleep (poor sleepy guy sitting in that mess). Ryan now starts the "I'm hungry" chant. I don't blame him, it's lunch time by now. Problem is, where can I stop for drive through food for my kid who is allergic to everything. I decided on mcdonalds apple slices.

Pull up to mcdonalds, order the apples, and guess what? They have no apple slices. They have nothing that Ryan can eat. So now I have a very hungry 3 year old who is bored with no movie and a baby sleeping in his own poop. Mom of the year!

We keep heading home. Patrick keeps sleeping and Ryan falls asleep about 5 minutes away from our house. The next challenge is getting them both inside on this blustery day. I attempt Ryan first since I don't want him to wake up. I lift him over my shoulder and get him up the stairs. He briefly woke up but laid right back down for his nap. Patrick next- but he woke up as soon as I opened the car door.

Last step- change the blow out. Upstairs we go, pants off and they are covered (right into the soak pile). Then I realize I can't get the onesie over his head without covering him in poop. I run to get the scissors to cut if off (first time ever trying the method but I was desperate). As I walk back in, I see the final step to this mess... He is now peeing all over himself, the floor, and whatever clean clothes are left. Anyway, I cut off the onesie and put it straight in the garbage, get him naked and in the bath, and get a load of laundry started for the rest of the clothes.

Now Patrick is clean, dry and happily playing, Ryan is sleeping, and I'm sitting with coffee writing my story.

So the end result- after all that craziness- at least the carpets are paid for and can be installed next week. Now onto everything else I need to get done before work in 2 hours. Being a mom rocks 😉




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Patrick 10 months

Only 10 days late with this update :)

Patrick is so smiley.  Its the first thing everyone comments on when they see him.  He is already a ham for the camera- he loves taking selfies and seeing himself on the camera.  He is just pretty laid back and goes with the flow and definitely makes the idea of having another baby easier.  Sleep is still our one trouble (I'll update based on his behaviors right at 10 months).  Anyway here are the facts:

-He is still in 6-9 month clothes, he is a little smaller than Ryan was  at this time.

-He started crawling at 9.5 months and now he is all over the place.

-He can pull himself to standing but doesn't quite cruise around yet.

-Lucky for  me he is not climbing yet!

-He finally got his first tooth!!  It popped through right before 10 months.

-He loves to clap and talk to us.  He makes a lot of "Ehhhh!!" to get our attention.

-Ryan and Patrick are really starting to interact.  Patrick loves to follow him around and copy him, and Ryan loves being protective and teaching him how to play with things.

-He is always doing silly things with his mouth and tongue.  Sticking out his tongue, clicking his lips, puckering up his face.  He is having fun experimenting with what his face can do.

-The wresting match diaper changes have begun.

-He is starting to get better at using a sippy cup of water.

-He is experimenting with foods- I still make all of his fruit and veggie purees, he gets chunks of banana, avacado, peas, and carrots for finger foods, and just this week I introduced yogurt with his fruit in the morning (just plain whole milk yogurt)

-We officially stopped nursing last week.  The past month was a slow weaning process, but the first week of November we officially stopped.  I think its harder on me than it is for him.  I miss our cuddle moments already, but I just did not have any supply left at all.  My body just couldn't keep up and it was becoming a fight and a stress for both of us.  Anyway, I continued to build a freezer supply as I was weaning, so there is enough for him to continue to get 1 breast milk bottle a day for about a month.   I want him to get milk as long as possible because its really the best way to get those healthy fats and the antibodies to build a healthy immune system.

-Sleep-  Daylights savings time sucks!  We finally got Patrick sleeping until about 6am and then we had to change the clocks so he was back to 5:00am.  At 10 months he was still stuck at that 5 am wake up every single morning.

-Naps- Still suck at 10 months.  Still 30 minutes on the dot for each nap and he wakes tired and cranky.  I have tried it all, I just have to hope that he is a kid that needs to do it on his own time.  I can't not lay him down to fall asleep on his own, that just makes the whole day a disaster.  Oh well- its a huge source of anxiety but I really can't let it get me down.  Just lots of prayers for his sake and mine that he will continue to adjust on his own.

-It was a fun month- Patrick's first halloween (he was a lion just like big brother) and our trip to Disney world.  He was such a good happy baby for all of it!