The night before baby boy's birthday

The food is prepped, the house is clean, the decorations are ready to be put up and the smash cake has been delivered... Must mean one thing- tomorrow is Patrick's first birthday! Man this year flew by. I feel like we have barely had a minute to blink and take it all in. Right before my eyes my little tiny baby has turned into a one year old who likes to spend his time climbing up the stairs over and over again.

I'll update on the party and all the happenings of Patricks monthly update some time this week. But for now I am just a ball of emotions remembering how I felt this time last year. I can remember the snow forecast and making plans for Ryan to sleep at grandmas "just in case" (thank god we made those plans). I remember driving him to the sleep over and starting to get regular contractions and wondering if it was the real thing. I remember walking around Home Depot with Mike, feeling contractions every 5 minutes but still arguing over light fixtures for our kitchen. And I remember the snow starting to stick on the ground and talking to mike and my mom and my doula trying to decide if it was time to get to the hospital.

It was a long labor, a very long labor, and I still say it's the most unbelievable thing I have experienced, but it was also so unbelievably special. Watching the blizzard through the windows, progressing very slowly, having my team (Mike, Mom, Dr. Azu and Nicole) around me the entire 26 hours, and screaming my head off begging for it to be over. And of course, at 5:50pm 1/3 it was finally over and I met my second baby boy. The feeling if relief is like nothing I have ever felt before.

My first impression of Patrick was "wow look at that cone head" hahaha. Seriously it was a crazy cone head. And also that I didn't want him out of my arms. I made the nurses do his check up while I held him, no baths just yet, no visitors please.... I just wanted that special bonding moment with him.

It's been an amazing year full of highs and lows and LOTS of sleepless nights/Napless days (come on kid please sleep better soon!). Being a mom is hard, being a mom of two even harder... It's a rocky journey, but I have loved it all. Can't wait to see what this year holds for us!

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