Patrick 9 month milestones

Hello again-

My blogging skills are lacking these days.  So much to write about, not enough time to sit down and do it.  I wish technology would come up with a way to just take my thoughts straight from my brain and put it on paper :)

Anyway, Patrick turned 9 months on October 3.  As always, I am a little late with this post, but better late than never.  Right at the 9 month mark he had  a few huge changes happen....

Edit-  Went to the doctors today and he is 19.4 lbs and 28 in long... thats 25-50% in both categories.

1.  He is finally sleeping through the night!!!!!!  Yes!  Finally!  Literally as of October 4 (a day after turning 9 months), he has been sleeping til 6-6:30am every day.  I am hoping this stays consistent and this is his new sleeping pattern.

2.  While we are on sleep, the naps are still kind of all over the place.  Most days there is a morning nap of some kind, and an afternoon nap of some kind, and occasionally a late nap depending on the day, but for the most part I still don't know what to expect.  He is definitely not on a routine the way Ryan was.  I'll keep working on it and offering structure, but for the most part as long as he is happy and sleeping at night, I won't stress.

3.  He can finally go from laying down to sitting up by himself.  This helps him so much because he can roll around and play without constantly needing to be re-positioned.

4. Since he is able to sit up by himself, he wakes up a little bit happier.  Occasionally he will just sit up and then talk to himself in the crib for a little bit until I go to get him.  This is a huge improvement from the screeching cry every time his eyes opened.

5.  He waves hi and bye all the time now.  He likes to see people come into a room and wave at them.  This also happened exactly at 9 months.  And clapping is in full effect.  I think this was because of our Disney trip... lots of clapping and waving at characters, rides, parades, etc.

6.  He is very close to crawling.  I though for sure it was going to happen in Disney.  He gets up to all fours, he rocks back and forth, he considers moving, and then eventually plops to his belly and does the army crawl or rolls to get what he wants instead.

7.  His eating patterns change every day.  Most days he gets 1 formula bottle at 1:00 in the afternoon and then I nurse him at 7, 10, 4, and bedtime.  Then he has breakfast at 8am and dinner around 5:00.  But depending on our schedule that can change, again like naps, he is not on nearly as rigid of a schedule as Ryan was.  Everything depends on the situation.

8.  My milk supply is continuing to dwindle, I feel like the end of nursing is near.  I am going to start adding a few more formula bottles to supplement, but still nurse like 3 times a day and see how long that lasts.  I am also going to start using some of the freezer breast milk to try to give him as much milk as I can for as long as I can, even if I am nursing less.  I"m not as stressed and upset about it as I was in the past.  I am proud of how long I have lasted, and I'll do my best to continue, but even if I only make it to the 10 month mark, I am happy with that!

9.  We go Tuesday for a check up, so I'll have weight information then.  But my guess is he is about 18 lbs.  He is in size 3 diapers and still wearing 6-9 month clothes.  He is smaller than Ryan so its helping that he can wear all of Ryan's clothes... they are the right size for the right season.

10.  Patrick went on his first real vacation to Disney World- lots more about about that next.

11. Still no teeth!  Teething like crazy, but no signs of anything breaking through.  Because of this I am still limiting real foods and he doesn't really do well with finger foods yet.  Just puffs and occasional fruit pieces for now.

12.  He has moved into the big bath tub.  He loves bath time... its a very wet and messy experience for everyone involved.

13.  He has officially learned how to throw things off his high chair table, just for fun.  Thats such a great stage, ugh.

14.  He doesn't eat much solid food, but when he does, he has to have all pieces in his hands at one time.  He will put them one at a time into his mouth, but he likes to sit with fists-fulls of food.  


Andddd he is awake after only a 25 minute nap so I need to wrap this up.  Here are some pictures of my photogenic boy!

TrojyPudvavndga

Why I Quit Sleep Training

I am officially a sleep trainer quitter.  Patrick and I have failed.  For those of you who know me, I don't  quit very often.  Normally I am soooo stubborn that I do things just for the sake of completion even if its not the best idea. So hopefully that puts it into perspective.

Here is why I am no longer doing the sleep training and cry it out.

From the day Patrick was born he had a hard time falling and staying asleep.  Its always been his biggest struggle.  When he hit the 6 month mark I realized that I really need to start actively sleep training him in order to try to help him become a better sleeper.  I re-read the books and talked to friends and was ready to go.  I officially started July 12 and the plan was the do the gradual extinction cry it out method, on top of setting up a strict nap and bedtime routine and following a strict schedule.

My own attempts did not work.  He would cry hysterically every single nap and bedtime, he was still taking very short naps, and he was waking very cranky.  I kept hearing that it was "one bad week" or "a few bad nights" but then he would eventually be able to settle himself to sleep and things would get better.  After about 3 weeks of no improvement- actually I think it got worse- I decided to hire someone to help.  All of our lives were revolving around Patrick's schedule and I was starting to feel really bad for him.

So I started working with a sleep consultant on August 10.  She set up a routine for me, and went into more details about the dos and don'ts (longer routine, how exactly to soothe him, dream feeds, etc etc).  Most of what she said I already knew and already tried, but I gave it a shot and did exactly what she told me to do.  It was super hard because by the end that meant letting him cry for a full hour in the middle of the night, which would ultimately end with Ryan also wide awake and all 3 of us sitting up listening to him cry.

Anyway... 3 weeks later... no improvement.  Nothing.  It was now almost a full 2 months and it was awful.  The only time I could get him to nap were the few times we were in the car, or where I would let him sleep in my arms because we needed to be out doing something (aka Seaside Sundays-  I still needed some beach time this summer).  I seriously tried to be home for every nap, I had my mom and mother in law doing the exact same routine... I did it all.  And things just got ugly.

By the beginning of September, he was crying for almost an hour to fall asleep for naps, then only sleeping about 15-20 minutes before waking up again, and he would not go back to sleep.  Then we would repeat the process 2-3 more times throughout the day.  The times he was awake he was cranky... puffy eyed... and would fuss big time if we walked out of the room.  He just wanted to be held and he had to see someone at all times.  He was starting to be extra clingy.  My easy going child was becoming very stressed and cranky.  Not to mention tired!

Bedtime was a little easier to get him settled because he was just so exhausted, but he woke up frequently because he was so restless... almost appeared anxious all night.  Then normally by 4:30 am he was up for the day and I could not get him back to sleep.  The sleep trainer told me not to even go into his room or out of the crib until after 6 am, so most days we sat and listened to him crying from 4:30-6am every day.

And the crying wasn't just baby fussing... it was hysterical, body thrashing, can't breathe, throwing up in the crib crying.  Eventually when he would fall asleep he would try to catch his breath for extended periods of time after.  It was sooooo sad (and scary) to watch.  For those of you reading this that know Patrick from when we are out and about, you probably don't believe it... because this is not the kind of kid he is.  He is happy, peaceful, smiling all the time.  But that's exactly my point, this person at bedtime was not my kid... he became some different monster.

Bottom line- it never got better.  It wasn't a few bad days or weeks, and I didn't see any hope of positive change.  All I saw was a miserable, tired, scared baby.

One day I woke up and something clicked... I couldn't do it any more.  I couldn't listen to my baby cry like that for another minute.  Mike made an excellent point- the most important thing in the world is that our boys are happy and healthy... and when Patrick was crying like that he was neither happy or healthy.  He was stressed, blood pressure raised, struggled breathing, scared, exhausted tired, and it was all for no good reason.  He still wasn't sleeping.

At that moment I knew I was done with cry it out and I was not going to turn back.  Don't get me wrong, that strategy might work for you.  Maybe you have a baby that just needs to break a bad habit and a few bad nights is all it takes.  But 2 f*cking months was wayyyyy to long and I am kind of mad at myself for letting it even go that long.  Every baby is different and has different needs, and my baby needs me to help him settle into a restful sleep.

That brings me up to date... after quitting cry it out, things are actually getting better!

I am still sticking to the routine, have a set nap times, encourage a good nap atmosphere, but I do not let him cry to sleep.  I will bring him into his room, change him, sleep sheep on, close the curtains, read him the same quiet bedtime story... but then instead of laying him down and walking out of the room, I will rock him for a minute or two until he is drowsy and then try to lay him down in his crib.  Some days I can just rub his back and he falls asleep, other days he cries as soon as he lays down and I have to soothe him a little, and some days he really gets upset so I pick him up and rock him to sleep.  Every nap and bedtime is a little bit different.  But the end result, he is always peacefully asleep in his crib within 10 minutes.

The naps are very slowly starting to get longer... they are going from 30 minutes, to 40, to sometimes even 1 hour.  Its not consistent and the 30 minute nap monster still comes up, but many naps are closer to the 45-50 minute mark.  That's a huge improvement.

For bedtime he is now normally alseep by 7:00pm (bedtime routine starts at 6:30) and then sleeps through until sometime around 5-5:30.  I always try to just give him his binky to fall back asleep but that normally doesn't work.  If it doesn't, then I"ll bring him in my room, nurse him, and then we can both dose off a little until Ryan wakes up.  My goal is to keep him in his crib til 6, but I"m not forcing it anymore.  I would rather feed him at 5 and let him lay in bed with me and I dose off for another hour than to have him hysterical in his room and waking all of us up for the day at 5:00.

Another improvement is that if he does wake up over night, he can normally settle himself back to sleep.  If he needs soothing its very little.  He no longer wakes up in total hysterics the way he was when we were doing cry it out.

Anyway, you have to do whats best for your family, and for me cuddling my baby a little longer and helping him get to sleep is a much happier and healthier way of living for all of us.

I hope by the 9 month update that I have much better news.... fingers crossed that one of these days he will be able to drift asleep happy, nap for 1.5 hours, wake up smiling, and sleep til 7am... is that too much to ask ;)

Patrick 8 mo

Here we are again for another monthly update... 2/3rds of the way through the first year.  Thats just carzy.

Some of the facts and happenings of this month.

-Patrick is starting to eat more foods.  I make 98% of his food home made, and we use jars when we are eating out at a restaurant.  But I like giving him fresh organic foods, and sometimes its as easy as smashing up a banana or an avocado because that's what we have on hand.  He has had a wide range of fruits and veggies.... not grains yet (well except some puffs for finger food).  Other than the puffs, he is not interested in the finger foods just yet, he kind of spits out whatever he gets into his mouth.  He has a mid morning meal, and a dinner time meal.  Occasionally he will have a 3rd depending on the day.

-He is using a sippy cup with water, just not well yet.

- I don't have a current weight... luckily he has been healthy so we have had no reason to go to the Dr.  We go at 9 months for a well check.

-He was exclusively breastfed/breastmilk only until the 8 month mark.  At 8 months I started supplementing with some formula.  It was sooo hard to keep up with his needs and my supply was causing a huge stress.  So I decided that as of 8 months, I would slowly start to wean and transition to formula and bottles.  I started with the 1:00 feeding.. but a crazy thing has happened... now that he gets that one bottle at 1:00 and I don't pump in place of it, my supply has evened out.  So I nurse him when he wakes up in the morning, at 10am. at 4:00pm, and then again for bedtime.  Then he gets the 1 formula bottle and a few meals of solids and he seems to be doing very well like this.  So I am not going to rush the transition... right now we are both happy so this works for us.  I am still pumping at night to keep building a freezer supply.  Even when we transition more off the boob and onto bottle, I want to be able to give him some amount of breast milk as long as possible.

-This was a big area of stress and disappointment.  My goal was to breastfeed 100% for the first year, so coming to terms with the need to supplement was really difficult.  But I must say I do feel much better knowing that even if its not 100% at least I'm still doing it, having the bonding moments, and he is getting the antibodies.  Instead of being disappointed, I am trying to focus on the accomplishments... I made it past the very difficult first 2 weeks, then the 6-8 week fussy period of cluster feeding, and then the massive 6 month growth spurt.  So anything form here on out is a bonus!

-Patrick is much slower to hit the major mile stones than Ryan was, but I kind of like it. 

-Still not teeth... I'm waiting on those to start more solids.

-He sits great, but he still can't go from laying down to sitting on his own.

-He is scooting and rolling all over the room, but he is not crawling yet... I think we still have a few more weeks.

-No attempts to pull himself up to standing yet.  He would rather sit on the floor and pull things to him.

-He babbles up a storm and has lots of fun new noises.

-For the most part he is very laid back and as long as he has someone to play with or something to watch, he is content.

-His laugh is contagious

-He is a cuddly boy.  He loves to be help and to snuggle against my neck.  He has also started the sloppy kisses phase.

-We are working on things like peek a boy, waving, and clapping.  

-For the sleeping my next entry... that's a post of its own.  I love this boy to death but boy do I hate his sleep patterns.

-Ryan continues to be a great and helpful big brother... seeing their interactions increase and them actually play together is a happy mommy moment.

Lets Talk about my boys: Ryan 3.5 years old

My Ry-guy!  I don't write about him nearly enough, so I decided he needed a 3 and a half year update.  First off, this boy has a HUGE personality.  He is loud, and outgoing, and silly, and dramatic, and smart.  He literally amazes us every day in some way or another.  He walks through the grocery store saying hello to everyone we pass.  He tells a detailed story to a stranger in a waiting room.  He is Mr. Personality.

-  We have definitely entered the "Kids say the funniest things" phase.  Some recent examples are...
"Wow Mom, this is a beautiful street" while driving in his friends neighborhood
"I love this driveway, its so fancy" talking about a friends pavers driveway
"I really, really, so much love you mommy" he is a mush with the I love you's these days
"Oh man, is crap really a bad word??"  "What about goofy, is that a bad word" as he is trying to figure this bad word/good word thing out
"And then... suddenly..." he uses suddenly in his story telling now

-His imagination is in full force.  Every day he makes up new scenarios and stories.  He wakes up each day pretending he has a new person coming to spend the day with him.  Sometimes its his real friends, some times its one of my friends, it could be a TV or movie character, or it could be a total made up person.  But he will stick with that scenario for the entire day.  As he builds his legos or blocks or trains, he has stories to go with everything he makes.

-His memory is scary good.  If you mention something one time, he will hold you to it.  He also recalls the very small details or the most random things.  I love to pick his brain and see what he can tell me and how he can retell a story about something that has happened.

-We have been recording all of the old Disney movies on our DVR, so he goes through phases of loving all different movies... Peter Pan, Aladin, Tarzan.  Also Cars, Toy Story, and Finding Nemo.  This week his favorite is "How to Train Your Dragon".

-He is loving the beach and the pool this summer.  Daddy invested in some super soaker water guns, so that's the newest favorite toy.

-We have had a busy summer.  He went to gymnastics camp, Blue Claws games, Kite Night, beach Sundays, Breakwater Beach Water park, the boardwalk rides, weekend in Baltimore, lots of play dates.  We have definitely been making the most of any free time we get.

-Ryan is a great eater... like better than most toddlers I know.  The other night I was shocked when he ate my stuffed peppers (red and green peppers, onions, sausage, quinoa, diced tomatoes, garlic).  He ate every bite and asked for more.  I am lucky that with all of his eating restrictions, he is not a picky eater at all.

-He has hit another troublesome sleep phase.  His naps are getting shorter and he has a very hard time falling asleep at night.  Sometimes it can take him 2 hours to fall asleep at night, and then he wakes up early.  I'm thinking its part of the eventual switch to no nap.  If he takes a good nap, he can't fall asleep at night but if he doesn't nap he is miserable by like 3pm.  So I"ll take the late sleeping if it means he will nap and be happier over all.

-I'll save the allergy, sensory, hyper activity updates for another day.  I want this to be about the fun things he does, not the stresses.

-He is a very proud big brother.  He likes to make Patrick laugh, and show him how to play with toys.  They are cute together right now.

I'm sure I could go on and on, but that's whats coming to mind right now.

And here is my big boy-

Lets talk about my boys: Patrick 7 months

I'm super late on this one, Patrick hit the 7 month mark 2.5 weeks ago.  But I'm gonna write this post as if he just turned 7 months, not current as he is now.  You know in baby world, things change over a 2 week period.

So that being said.... Happy 7 month birthday my boy!

Some details of this month and then on to the cute pictures.

-We don't have a check up until he is 9 months, so I don't have any accurate weight and height info.
-He is just now transitioning into 6-9 month clothes and size 3 diapers.
-I am very proud that as of just a few days before his 7 month mark, he was still exclusively breastfed.
-He is enjoying 1 meal a day, so far he has tried peas, bananas, sweet potatoes, and carrots.
-He is sitting 100% on his own.  Its nice to be able to put him down so he can sit and play with the toys around him.
-He has learned a great (very loud) screeching noise.  Its his way to ask for food, get my attention, or just remind everyone he is in the room.
-He is still on an eating every 3 hour schedule, can't seem to stretch to that 4th hour yet.
-He is loving the beach, the bath tub, taking walks, watching Mickey Mouse with his brother, and putting toys in his mouth.
-Lets not talk about sleep.  Its ugly.  Both naps and overnight.  We did give in and hire the through email sleep consultant because we are desperate for some help.
-He had a great first vacation to Baltimore.  He was so good!  He loved just hanging out in the stroller or in my ergo carrier.  He stayed up late both nights, and he enjoyed his first professional baseball game already.
-He is lovin on his mommy these days.  Very cuddly, always wants to be in the same room as me, and gives me big kisses on my cheeks (or he is trying to eat my face but kisses are cuter).
-We are still waiting on his first tooth.  He has had all of he teething symptoms but nothing yet.
-He is starting to enjoy spending time with his cousins.  They are interacting and laughing at each other... the age gap already seems smaller.
-In some ways he is just like his brother (he can be loud, he has trouble settling to sleep/staying asleep, he loves to cling on to mommy, etc) but in other ways he is so different (must more content and smiley, huge belly laugh, no drool or spit up, not on the move nearly as much, etc).  Its fun to watch them grow up as brothers but also very different boys!


I think that is about it for now!  LOVE my little guy.

Men vs. Women: preparing to travel

Both Mike and I will be traveling for 4 day trips on our own, for me it's next week and for Mike it's in three weeks. As I prepare for my getaway, I can't help but think about how different it is for each of us to get ready to leave for a long weekend.

Here is Mike's to do list before traveling alone:

- pack
- get address for hotel
- maybe get a hair cut

Here is my to do list:
- arrange babysitter for Thursday
- arrange babysitter for Friday
- type out schedule for the boys weekends
- make sure I have enough breast milk for baby
- make sure house is stocked with groceries
- make sure laundry is done and put away (so all my boys have clean undies)
- get a pedicure
-shop for toiletries
-pack my breast pump and all accessories
- worry for 3 days that I didn't forget something
- oh yea, pack my suitcase

Sometimes I wish I had a wife to coordinate all the details for our family! But hey, at least I'm going away :)



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