The Taynors

The Taynors

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Gender Neutral

When I was pregnant, we decided not to find out the sex of the baby.  I know I am very out numbered in this decision!  People would seriously look at my like I committed a crime when I told them that we were waiting til the birth to find out.  The idea of keeping it a surprise made people crazy, they just didn't understand why we would do that.  I heard all of the same things... How are you going to decorate the nursery, you aren't going to be able to buy any clothes, I'm to much of a control freak I just need to know, and I want to start building a relationship with the baby as soon as I can.  Here is my reasoning to all of those questions/comments.

Decorating the nursery-  This is the silliest reason for finding out the sex of the baby.  You can absolutely create a beautiful gender neutral nursery!  And it doesn't have to be corny, green and yellow the  way everyone thinks.  Don't get me wrong... Ryan's room is green and yellow.  But I think we found a tasteful, sweet way to decorate.  There are plenty of options...gray, yellow, tans, brown, white, black, primary colors, green, etc.  With the help of the Internet for ideas, it is not hard to decorate a neutral room.  And then after the baby is born you can add some personal touches to make it just right for your new baby.  For those of you who really want a super girly room or blue boy room, you can still have that when they get a little bit older.  It won't be long before that baby is growing into a toddler and is going to need a big kid room.  That's the perfect time to decorate for the specific gender!

Clothes-  Having clothes for the baby was never an issue for us, this is what we did.  Before the baby was born, I bought 2 baby girl outfits and 2 baby boys outfits.  I brought them both to the hospital so we were prepared for whatever sex we had (A Boy!! Yay!!).  Besides that we had a few neutral sleepers and blankets and onesies ready to go for the first week.  That was all we had before he was born.  Within 1 week of Ryan's birth, his closet was FULL with clothes.  Every single person that visited brought boy clothes.  Even people I never met before (co-workers of my father for example) sent cute little outfits for Ryan.  We were given enough clothes that I did not have to shop at all until just recently.  It was great... we got everything we really needed at the shower, and then got all of his clothes after the announcement was made. 

For the planners and control freaks-  Hello!  I am the biggest control freak there is!  For those who know Mike and I, you know that we are both obsessively organized, plan every little thing in our lives, and have to be in control at all times.  So yes, not finding out the sex of the baby was out of our comfort zone.  But here's the thing... does it really matter?  Does anything change if its a girl versus a boy?  We were still prepared.  The house was ready, our finances were in order, the hospital bags were packed, we took all the classes.  We were just as ready for this baby as anyone else would be.  I didn't want to be in control of this.  I trusted in God and let him be in control of this baby.  I didn't over plan getting pregnant and I didn't want a machine telling me what my baby was going to be.  I knew we had a boy when they put him on my chest.

Lastly, the guessing game can be fun.  I enjoyed hearing everyone's theories on why they were sure the baby was a girl (or boy).  It was fun having a pool guessing the sex and birth date.  I spent many days imagining my life with the new baby... sometimes I pictured a girl and sometimes a boy.  I'll admit it now, I kind of wanted a girl.  My friends all had baby girls and I always pictured myself having a baby girl.  But to tell you the truth, when Ryan was born it didn't matter at all!!  He was breathing and healthy and in my arms, the gender was the least of my worries.  I will never forget that moment when the doctor announced  "You have a Ryan!"  That day when I held him in my arms, I was sooo glad that I didn't already have an image of this baby in my head.  I hadn't created my own identity for him based on his gender and I was just happy to meet him.  Its so hard to put words to this feeling, but I will definitely do it again.

If you are a mom to be and trying to decide if you will find out the gender, I highly recommend waiting!  It may be hard at times during the pregnancy, but it is totally worth it!


  1. I love this post! We did not find out the sex of our baby till she was here, and it was so much fun! We got those same reactions and arguments when people found out we weren't finding out. I especially love the paragraph about the indescribable feeling that comes when you meet your little one and have not created expectations for him or her. So true! I may put a link to this post on my blog if that's OK!

  2. Hi Joy, thank you so much for the kind words. It is nice to know that others can relate. Feel free to post a link on your blog, I don't mind at all.