I can do it!

As my previous posts have stated, Ryan has been a difficult baby.  From the moment of his delivery when we had to rush to get out him out due to the cord around his neck, he has presented me with many challenges!  Scary delivery, digestive problems, won't eat, hole in his heart, jaundice, acid reflux, eczema, cradle cap, eye infections, projectile vomitting, colic, lack of sleep... all wrapped into one very cute 7 week old baby.  There are many days I just cry along with him.  Sometimes I find myself saying "Why did I have to be the one with a challenging baby?"  I wish for a day when he will wake up from a nap and not start immediately crying or for an evening when I can eat dinner at a table instead of doing it one handed while I try to sooth him.  I can't wait for the days when he is smiling and happy and we can enjoy the time he is awake, instead of feeling anxious because I know the screaming is going to start at any moment.  Don't get me wrong, we do have the occasional glimpse of happy Ryan, but as of now they are still few and far between.

This is what I have come up with to help me get through the really tough days.  God only gives you what you can handle, so he knew I would be strong enough to take care of this baby.  This challenging start to his life will only make me a better, stronger, more loving mother.  This beautiful baby boy needs extra care, love, and attention and God knew that I would be up for the job. 

Ryan Joseph, I love you with all of my heart and one day when you are a strong young man, I can not wait to tell you what a pain in the butt you were as a baby :)