How I met your Father

Last night as I was folding the millionth load of laundry for the day, I was thinking back on our love story. Mike and I don't have a simple story... We didn't meet, start dating, get married. We met, we were friends, we went long stretches of not talking, then get back in touch, then loose touch... It took a while. Whenever someone says how did you meet or how long have you been together, it's always a long story. Here is our timeline:

Fall 2001- we briefly met for the first time. I was still living at home going to community college and I went to visit Heather at Rider University. I was just hanging in her dorm room (which seemed extra cool since I didn't go away to college yet) when a friend of ours from high school came by with his new roommate. Mike was that random roommate. It was a brief hello, definitely not love at first site, and them they were on their way. Mike recalls that when they came by, I was jumping on heathers bed. His first impression was "wow that girl is nuts!"

We met a few other random times that year. I was still with my high school bf and he had his new college romance. Never expected that he would one day be my husband.

February 2003- The first real time we hung out. At this time I was going to school at Towson University. I was "dating" this guy Chris... I use the term loosely because it was more like I was obsessing over Chris while he was casually going out with me. I was having a hard time and Heather said I needed to get my butt up to Rider to visit her and take a break from Chris. So that's what I did. I borrowed Chris' very pretty BMW and headed for a weekend at Rider.

Saturday night heather brought me to a sorority/fraternity keg party... And you guessed it, Mike was there. Heather apparently asked him to hang out with me, keep me company, because I didn't know anyone there. Well he did a great job. We spent the whole night talking, flirting, dancing, and getting very drunk! My night ended with him giving me a shot of tequila. He claims the tequila was "punishment" for talking about Chris all night :)

I had an awesome night, but paid for it big time. I spent the whole 4 hour drive home the next day throwing up on the side of the road. It was one of the worst hangovers I ever had!

Side note- I was about 20 lbs heavier then and wearing an awful corduroy pants outfit... If mike thought I was cute on that particular night, I know he really likes me :)

From Spring 2003-Fall 2004 we barely spoke. There was the occasional IM (good old fashion instant messaging) but really I was living college life down at Towson and he was being a frat guy at Rider. I saw him occasionally if I visited Heather, but there was no special spark like the previous keg party.

November 2004- Heather invited me to attend a formal. Officially I was going as Kenny's date and Heather was going as mike's date. That was the only way we could all go together to this formal. This event jump started the attraction again. This was the night of our first kiss! We had an awesome time and I officially had a crush.

We ended up spending the entire weekend together- the formal Friday night, double date movies and Applebee's appetizers on Saturday with Heather and Kenny, and then I was given last minute tickets to the Giants game on Sunday, so why not invite mike to come with me. I think this Giants game is what I would consider our real first date. It was the first time we did something just the two of us. It was a pretty epic weekend. Lots of fun, drinking, hand holding, smooching. This was the first time I started thing "huh, this guy has potential, I like him."

Something crazy happened after that weekend... We barely spoke to each other! Haha this was becoming our thing, you know spending the weekend together, have a great time, act all couplely, then don't talk for months.

April 2005- another fraternity formal. This time Mike invited me as his date and it was a whole weekend event. It was great, again. We clicked, we liked each other, we had fun. Then I went home, and guess what... We barely spoke to each other again for a few more months.

September 2005- Mike had graduated college, I was done with my associates and had my cosmetology license. We both had grown up jobs. This is when we first started talking a little more regularly. We met for lunch a few times, we met up with a few mutual friends, we occasionally called or texted. But we were still unsure. I kept thinking "ah he is too nice" and he didn't seem overly driven to make anything happen. That Fall I even dated someone else for a little bit.


November 2005- We were finally getting over whatever was holding us back the past 4 years. I was going as his date to work events, we talked daily, the spark was back.

December 2, 2005 we finally went on a true, real date as a couple. Mike surprised me after work with Bon Jovi concert tickets! It was awesome and the first time we were both open about our feelings.

December continued this way. We lived an hour apart, but we spent pretty much every weekend together. New Years Eve it became official. Shortly after the ball drop he asked me if it was okay to change his MySpace status to "in a relationship" (I'm seriously laughing out loud as I type this)!

The rest is history. After 4 years of being all over the place, once we decided to give it a shot, we got pretty serious pretty fast.

St. Patty's day 2006 was the first time he said I love you (and I immediately threw up... But that's a story for another time)

December 2007 he proposed

March 3, 2008 we closed on our first house

And most importantly we got married June 26, 2009!

I can't believe this June is 5 years married and this Fall it will be 10 years since our first kiss!

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Coming soon...

Every once in a while I have a brain full of posts, topics I need to talk about, interesting tidbits from my life... but I just don't have the time to sit and write them.  So as a reminder to myself (and as a coming attraction for the few people following along), here are some up coming blog topics:

- Update on Ryan and the process we have recently started with early intervention
-A letter to myself for the future me IF I ever decide to have another baby
-A sentimental post about my best friends
- An update on going back to work
-Maybe if I get up the nerve, an update on PPD round 2

Stay tuned :)

Patrick 3 months

Little late- second baby problems!

But here is Patrick's 3 month update. Boy I love thus baby boy to pieces. He is so sweet and his smile just melts away whatever is bothering me at the time.

-The details: he is 13 lbs 1 oz, 23.5 inches long and in the 50% across the board. He is wearing size 2 diapers and is about to transition from 0-3 month to 3-6 month clothes.

- He is still only breast fed (with the occasional bottle of bm). He is doing great with nursing and we are working through the growth spurts. I pump every single night between 9:30-10 before I go to sleep. I get about 2-3 oz at that time so I'm slowly building a freezer stash. That stash allows me to get awar
- We are slowly starting a basic routine, very basic. He is up somewhere between 6:30-7:30am, he eats every 3 hours (7, 10, 1, 4), the cluster feeds a bit between 4-7, and then bedtime starts around 7:00pm. We try to get some naps in between each nursing throughout the day (eat, activity, sleep) but he is not a good napper so that's a bit rough.

- Night time sleep is pretty good. Last month was great, I was shocked how well he slept every night, but he is back tracking just a bit and waking a little more. I don't feed him when he wakes up until at least 3:30 am. Every night is a little different. Some times he goes right to sleep at night and goes straight to 4am and then sometimes he fusses at bedtime, doesn't settle til closer to 9-10pm and then gets up a few times overnight. Hopefully he will fall back into his good night sleeping routine by next month (fingers crossed)!

- Patrick has a great personality. He is happy most of his awake time, he loves to talk, he is starting to giggle, and his smiles are huge.

- He can roll over, belly to back, but doesn't do it often. We are working on tummy time. He has a little bit of a flat head, so we are doing as much as we can to keep him off his back.

- Chomping on his hands is a favorite activity these days. And the drool is following.

- Cradle cap is still here but not nearly as bad as Ryan had. The baby hair is slowly coming out, and I think the new hair growing in is lighter.

- Nap time is a stress for a few reasons... He has trouble falling asleep on his own (like he seriously fights it), he likes to be moving non-stop (car or rocked in someone's arms), when he is finally asleep he normally wakes up very quickly (like 20 minute cat naps).... And the reason this is hard is because when he gets tired, he gets crazy. My quiet, sweet baby turns into a monster. He has the loudest cry and sounds so angry! We describe him as going from 0-60 in 10 seconds. It's pretty wild to witness. So nap time is sacred and I'm working hard to get a better nap routine. Trust me, I have tried all the techniques, but naps just don't come easy.

I think those are the main Patrick points for the month. Now a lite mommy update:

- I miss nap time (haha I'm obsessed I know). But Ryan's nap time use to be my quick chance to breathe. Now that it's taken up by taking care of Patrick, there is no break in the day. I need to get these boys napping at the same time!

- I hate talking about it, and I really need to write a separate post, but the postpartum blues/anxiety is back. My emotions are outbid control, I feel like I'm on a roller coaster ride, and the meltdowns are frequent. Because of suffering ppd with Ryan, both mike and I were on high alert for it happening again. I think somewhere around 2 months is when I really started feeling it again- the sad, stress, anxious, hopelessness feelings of postpartum. Anyway, I'm back seeing a therapist and I'm trying to stay off any medication at this point. I don't want to go the way of meds because I don't want it to interrupt my nursing the baby. But I have that in my back pocket if I need it. While I'm going through it I don't like to talk about it, it's awkward and uncomfortable. It's much easier for me to tell my story of ppd when I'm feeling better. I know I'll feel better soon, this time around I know it goes away, and for now I just need to take care of myself and get past it.

- I think we have decided that I will extend my leave of absence until July 7 (when Patrick hits 6 months old). The details are still fuzzy so I'll update soon.

- I have been back to pre-baby weight for a while but I need to get my butt back to working out! It will make me feel better and get my body ready for summer. That's the goal this month!


Now here are some cute pics to make us all smile!

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Happy 3rd Birthday, Ryan!

Holy Moly, I have a three year old.  And a wild, crazy, silly 3 year old boy at that.  He gives me the highest of highs every single day, but can also be the source of my total stress and exhaustion.  He keeps me on my toys and I love him so deeply.

Here are some of the highlights and big topics for my big boy:

1.  I'll input the weight/height/and development stats here after tomorrow's pediatrician visit.

2.  Ryan talks a lot!!  If you went back an read my posts from a year ago, I was concerned he would never talk, his speech was delayed, but now that he has gotten the hang of it, he doesn't stop talking.  From the minute he wakes up to the minute he goes asleep he is talking.  He asks a lot of questions and tells us silly stories and sometimes I think he just likes hearing his own voice :)

3.  Speaking of speech, he goes to see a speech therapist once a week.  We started going back in November based on the recommendations of his preschool teachers.  He had the eval and they recommended therapy to help improve his skills and help to battle the drool issue.  Ryan really likes going, but at this point I don't know if I notice a huge change.  He is still difficult to understand, but I would say that his level or sentence structure and putting together thoughts has definitely increased.

4.  On that topic... he still drools.  Ugh!  I can remember asking when he was 3 months old, and 6 months, and at a year old- When is he going to stop drooling?  Well the answer so far is, Never!  I can't tell if its a swallowing issue, a lazy issue, a sensory issue- but he still drools frequently.  Its a point of discussion for the pediatrician tomorrow, what can we do to fix this problem.

5.  Kids say the funniest things- Its true!  Some of my recent favorite expressions that he uses are "Oh man" after anything that doesn't go well.   Then he has his favorite pick up line "Whats your favorite truck?"  and he expects you to have a detailed response (for example: an excavator with a tall boom and a big shover on tracks not tires).  He is also starting to imagine things, so when talking about trucks or boats or houses, he always wants to know the size... so a popular question is "How big is it? Show me with your hands."  We tell Ryan that Patrick will be able to play trucks and blocks and sports with him when he gets to be bigger like him, so now every day Ryan asks "Is he bigger yet?"  almost expecting him to go from baby to big boy over night. Lastly, since he has figured out the concept of parents, he now calls Gigi and Pops and Grandma and Grandpa our parents... for example he won't say "We are going to see Grandma", instead he will say "We are going to see Daddy's parents.   I could come up with a million more, but those are my favs, too cute!

Also, because of the Olympics being on  TV, Ryan and Mike started doing their own creative ice dancing routine.  After the final lift and spin, Ryan will face his audience and say "Ta Da, Thank you Thank you" as he bows several times.  I need to get it on video... super cute.

6.  Ryan's favorite things- Umm Trucks, and more trucks, and all different kids of trucks.  He likes playing with trucks, looking for trucks on the road, building trucks, reading books about trucks, talking about trucks, watching truck shows on TV and the iPad... life is all about trucks right now.  I know more about construction trucks now then I ever have my entire life.  Ryan's favorite is the excavator, mine is the Feller Buncher, and Mike's is the bull dozer.  Everyone has to have their own favorite truck.

Besides trucks, some other interests are boats and dinosaurs.  Just like with trucks, he likes to talk about different kinds of boats, look them up online, generally he gets pretty obsessive on certain topics.

7.  Because of the interest in boats (and whales should be on that list too), he is back to loving baths.  He will on his own, run upstairs, take off all his clothes and yell to us that he is ready for a bath.... and this occurs randomly at any time during the day.  No wonder the poor kids skin is so dry and sensitive.

8.  Segway into his skin issues-  I feel like they are a little bit better this winter.  He is still dry and has some eczema/chapped spots on his face but in comparison to last winter its pretty good.  His ankles and hands and behind his knees are all looking really good.

9.  Favorite day time activities-  Like most kids, Ryan's favorite things to play with can change from week to week, but generally his favorite things to play with are his duplo building blocks, Hess trucks, his train table, and play doh.  Then next on his list would be doing puzzles (like real puzzles, not the shape ones), cooking in his kitchen, coloring, and building with his tools.  He has just recently started pulling out his golf and baseball things again... its like he understands that its almost spring time and golf and baseball are in season.

10.  He is into singing songs.  We listen to "songs" in the car and he sings along, and we catch him singing in bed and singing while he plays.  He is pretty good at remembering all of the words and just singing to pass the time.

11.  We are finally starting to play pretend (I feel like girls do this playing pretend thing much earlier than boys... or maybe it was just not something Ryan did) but all of a sudden the last few weeks Ryan wants to play pretend with us.  Some days we are all dinosaurs and we are chasing each other around the house acting like our dino characters.  He really likes the Paw Patrol show on Nick Jr.  so we play a lot of that.  He is Chase and I am Marshal (and everyone else from the family has a character) and we have to pretend we are that character and go on missions.  He gets mad if I call him Ryan... its Chase and he is a pup!

12.  Lastly his schedule-  I am living off of reading the posts about his schedule from when he was a baby (to use as a guide for Patrick) so even though it is boring, I need to post about it.

Normal day is pretty straight forward...
Wake up between 6:30-7
Breakfast between 8-8:30
Whatever the days activity is from 9-12
Lunch around 12
Nap from 1-3
Play time after nap
Dinner anywhere between 5:30-6:30
Hang out and bath time
Normally in bed around 7:30

This is very general, but we are much more flexible with his routine then we were when he was younger.  He can nap early if we have something in the afternoon, or later if we have a busy morning.  He can go to bed early if he had a crazy day, or stay up much later if we have something planned in the evening.  As long as we generally follow this routine and he still gets a good nap, he is flexible.

Thats it for now!  I do have some behavioral/developmental concerns, but thats a post for a different day... after I talk with the doctor.  Todays post is all for fun.

Birthday party-  We had his birthday at Gymboree and he LOVED IT!  I was surprised how well it went.  Noah, Blake, Brooklynn, Eloise, Mason, Bennett, Emma, Charlie, Angelo, and the babies Patrick, Henry, Briggs, Julia, JJ, and Sophia all came to celebrate.

The theme was trucks (SURPRISE).  Even though we did that for his first birthday, I had to give the kid what he loves.

Here are some pictures of Ryan at three and from the birthday party!

2 month update- Patrick

This month, Patrick's 2 month birthday and Ryan's 3 years birthday fell on the same day... and surprise surprise, it SNOWED!  It has snowed for all of our special days this year, my baby shower, Patrick's birth, his 1 month, and now for the big birthday.  I have canceled and rescheduled many activities and doctors appointments because of this snow.  Hopefully we are now officially done.

Anyway, 2 months has been great so far.  Just like with Ryan (and with everything else in life) its going soooo fast.  He doesn't seem as squishy newborn any more.  I also feel like he had some big changes from 6-8 weeks.  He doesn't cry as much, he is a little bit more on a routine, he is sleeping better at night.  I feel like he is pretty much right on track as a textbook baby.  Here are some highlights right now:

- He weighs 12.2 lbs and is 23 inches long

- He is still wearing 0-3 or 3 month clothes

-Diapers size 1

-He is still exclusively breast fed (yay for no formula yet) and he will take a bottle of BM on the few occasions I am not there to nurse him.

-  He is very different from Ryan.  He is much calmer during the awake hours, only has crying fits if he is tired or hungry or gassy, he does not spit up much at all, he sleeps well at night, and he likes tummy time for a little while.

-He is similar to Ryan in the fact that he is not a good day time napper.  He does not like to sleep anywhere
at all except my arms.  I have tried it all... the swing, the baby wearing, the rock n play, the car seat, the crib... but he won't nap for longer than 10-15 minutes in any of it.  He ends up waking, crying hysterically until I rock him back to sleep but again will only stay asleep if he stays in my arms. Even when we take a drive, he will fall asleep in the car seat, but as soon as the car stops moving he wakes up. I am really working on this, I feel like its my biggest challenge right now.  It is really hard to have a baby in your arms constantly while taking care of a 3 year old.  I keep attempting to "put him down" for naps... so far no luck.  Ryan was like this until about 4 months when things slowly got better.  I guess I make babies that hate swings :)

-He does have cradle cap, not terrible, but its there.  Fingers crossed for a mild case.

- Big smiles started this month.  He is a happy baby when he is well slept and fed!

-Just this week he started rolling from his belly to his back.  I think its kind of early for this, but Ryan rolled early too.  He has only done it 3 times, but he definitely can do it.  Big milestone!

-Bath time is enjoyable.  He freaks the first minute or two of being put into the water, but then calms down and seems to like the water.

-He started sleeping in his crib at 6 weeks.  It was about a week of transition, but its going well and he is there all night now.

-Vaccines- I needed to make a decision about how we were going to handle vaccines this month.  After lots of research and several conversations with my pediatrician, we have decided on a slow and alternative schedule.  He is getting about half of the vaccines available and will be getting them spread out over the first 2 years instead of getting them all at the same time as infants.  I am comfortable with this decisions because I think he is only getting the ones that are truly serious diseases and he will not be overwhelmed with a huge amount of toxins all at one time.  Its a compromise between protecting him through vaccines and building up a strong immune system naturally.  It pretty much brings him back to getting basically what my generation got as kids back in the early 80's.  

-Our general routine right now... I am trying to follow the EASY model from Baby Whisperer.  I used that guide and the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child book with Ryan and I really liked the concept and Ryan turned out to be a great healthy sleeper.  So an ideal day looks like this...

Eat, Activity, Sleep. 
7:00 am  Eat, 7:30 Play, Nap from 8:30-10ish.  And then repeat throughout the day.  This is the goal.The times change, but that's the rotation.

We still are not exactly there yet.  He is spread out to eating every 3 hours, but because he is not a good napper, the designated play and sleep time is a little off.  He will play for a little bit, sleep for a little bit, then be up and  cranky for a little bit, maybe dose off again.  Its not really clear cut yet.  I think when the naps improve, we will be on a better routine throughout the day.   It doesn't help that I am also following the schedule of a toddler, so sometimes there routines go against each other and normally Patrick is the one that has to adapt.

Then in the evening I add an extra nursing session because he likes to cluster feed and it helps him get some sleep.  So night time looks like this...

4:00 eat
4:30-5:30 play a little bit and cat nap
5:30 eat again
6:00-7:00 play again and sometimes he doses off a little bit, if he gets a bath its normally now
7:00 start bedtime routine:  change him, swaddle him, nurse again, rock him to sleep
And then he is in his crib by 7:45-8:00pm
Then I stay up until 9:30-10 to pump before going to sleep.  I have about 30 oz of milk in the freezer woohoo!

*  Right now he is sleeping great at night, I don't want to jinx it so I won't even type out what a normal night is, but I will come back in the future to add this part :)

Randomness

Every once in a while you just need to right about the random thoughts that pop into your head. Today is one of those days. I'm currently sitting in the car, waiting to pick Ryan up from preschool, and Patrick is currently sleeping in the back (woohoo).

* I don't think there is anything more comfortable than a big comfy bed to a mother with a newborn. Every time I get into bed its like being soaked up in a big fluffy cloud. Normally I'm someone who struggles to fall asleep, but since sleep is very limited and precious these days, I can literally fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. I am in love with my bed, pillows, and sheets and I appreciate every minute I get to spend with them!

* I'm in vacation planning mode. It's kind of random since I have a baby and its not a good time to actually travel, but I'm kind of obsessed with planning and dreaming about future trips. So far Disney is booked for October and a girls trip is planned (will be booked soon) for August! Also on the list for things I want to do in the next couple of years: all inclusive with Mike, a group family trip with all of our friends and their kids, a ski trip (bringing grandparents for help with child care), and maybe a couples trip-we discussed maybe Nashville. That's a pretty long dream list, but I'm gonna make it happen :)

*Breastfeeding is a lot of work! I knew this already but I'm remembering how difficult it can be. It definitely doesn't come easy to me. There are a million reasons to quit: someone can help me in the middle of the night, babysitters would be easier, I wouldn't be worrying about getting enough calories, drinking enough water, and eating the right foods so that it affects my milk supply, and pumping wouldn't be a daily conversation. The days are 100% revolving around Patrick's eating schedule. I wish I just had big boobs filled with milk so that nursing and pumping was easier.

BUT I know it's all worth it! There are just as many reasons to keep it up, and keep nursing as long as possible.

* Mike is in full swing with his new job and trainings. I know he is super excited, but I'm also a bit nervous. He leaves by 7am and has not been home before 7pm yet, and he has many nights away overnight. It leaves a lot of time with me home alone with the kids. Maybe when he gets into a better routine, he will find a way to be home a little more often. Fingers crossed... I'm hoping this is a positive new opportunity for him!

* Valentines Day just passed and it got me thinking. After you have kids it's expected that things change... Like celebrating little holidays and anniversaries are suppose to become a thing from "before kids". But I don't want to fall into that trap. I want to keep the romance alive (lol I am actually laughing at myself as I type that). Anyway I have heard it all, Valentines Day is a forced holiday and New Year's Eve is amateur night for single people. But I have decided to think about it differently. Valentine's Day is a great opportunity to show your hubby that even with young kids, you still love them and want to spend some adult time together. For New Year's Eve, lets celebrate all the great things that happened that year and look forward to all the new adventures of the upcoming year. You get my point. I think celebrating the little things is even more important now that we have a family. We need it to help maintain our marriage and our adult friendships. It might take a little more work and planning, and we might be tired the next day from staying up too late, but hey it's worth the effort!













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Finished Home Reno (almost)

We finally finished the renovations going on downstairs.  It went from a 4 day project to a 11 day project, and that was with Mike, my dad, and my father in law working on it almost all day every day.  It was a nightmare for me and the two kids.  I thought Mike and I would kill each other.  I would get out of the house as soon as I could in the am, and come back as late as I could at night... I was not comfortable living in my own home.  The house was sooo dusty, it was cold, there were no floors, and it there was junk for Ryan to get into all over the place.  Each step of the project had a delay.  The floors didn't come up easy, the new wood floors were delayed in their arrival, the electric work was complicated... all normal renovation complications, but I didn't have any time for this!

Add to the chaos, this was the week we ended up in the hospital with Patrick and we had 2 snow storms.  What the Hell!  I feel like the big man above was playing games with me.  When we left for the hospital on Friday 1/31 the house was a disaster... still no floors, still a dirty mess, a work in progress, a construction zone.  While I stayed at the hospital I told Mike that I didn't care what he had to do... make sure my house was put back together by time we were discharged!  And he did.  Just in time.  He finished the house on Sunday 2/2, Super Bowl Sunday, the day before starting his new job.

Anyway, it is now done and looks beautiful.  We still have a few things to finish.  He needs to caulk and touch up the crown and base board moldings, and I need to decorate (new rugs, re-finish our lamps, wall decor, throw pillows, etc), but at least it is a livable space.  The rest I can do over time.  Here are some pictures:

Our general goal was for a lighter, more coastal/beach feel.  Before we had a lot of brown, reds, golds (almost a wine theme) but it was starting to feel a bit dark and yellow.  So I wanted more neutral and light.  We plan to add blues, greens, and coral colors as the accents and use accessories like  light houses, coral, sailboats to make it feel "coastal".

Kitchen:
We painted the walls, got a new stove, changed the light fixture, added a shelf, and got new hardware on the pantry door. 

Before-

 After-

Dining Area:

The wood floors covered this area, new curtains.  Eventually we will have new area rugs, a new light fixture, and cushions for the chairs. 

Before-

After-

sdf

 

Living Room:

New wood floors, new light over the couch, new crown and baseboard molding, new hardware on all doors, painted exterior front door and new curtains.  Still to come is the rest of the decor and the touch up of the moldings.

Before-

After-

 

So what do you think!  Definitely some work to do... but its coming along.  The best part- we can live and play in it!!  Woo hoo!