4 month Milestones- For mommy

At 4 months, Ryan is learning new things every day.  But I feel like I have reached several milestones myself.  Before RJ was born, I heard many times "The first 6 weeks is the hardest."  Well I am going to say for me, the first 4 months was the hardest!  Finally, I am starting to feel like myself again (most days).  Here are some things that I have finally accomplished this month.

1.  I make dinner occasionally!  Normally it is not until after Ryan is in bed, but still I have put dinner on the table a few times recently.

2.  Since Ryan actually goes to bed by about 7:30 every night (Thank God!!!), I am able to get a few things done at night.  Some nights I do laundry and some nights I relax with a glass of wine... but the point is, I am no longer rushing to bed the second Ryan falls asleep.

3.  I had sex!  Sorry if this is TMI for any family members that may be reading, but after a very long healing process with many complications we were finally able to have sex at 20 weeks PP.

4.  Most days I take a shower.  It varies from day to day, but I consider it a huge accomplishment that I am able to take a shower everyday.  Don't judge me, other new moms will understand :)

Hopefully the list of things returning to "normal" continues over the next few months.  My biggest goal is to find time to work out.  Breastfeeding has helped me loose the weight, so now I need to get my ass back in shape.

Nursing, Formula, and Solids - Oh My!

At Ryan's 4 month doctors appointment we started the conversation about transitioning to formula and starting stage 1 solids. The whole process is a little overwhelming (I think overwhelming is my new favorite motherhood word). Breastfeeding is just so EASY! After those first few weeks of trouble, I have really come to love breastfeeding.

**Anyway, lets start with the transition to formula. I go back to work in September, and I need to have Ryan on formula by then. I would LOVE to continue nursing him for longer, but my job makes it very hard to pump. Also, I really struggle with pumping. I am never able to get more than a few ounces. It would be very hard for me to get full bottles of breast milk in order to keep up. In addition, I feel like recently my milk supply has decreased. I never feel full, Ryan finishes his feedings very quickly, and he seems to still be hungry when he is finished. So all of this leads to the decision to start feeding him formula. I think the transition is going to be much harder on me than it is on him.

Here is the plan, I am going to start taking away 1 nursing session during the day and replacing it with a bottle. I started that this week. He takes the bottle for his 5pm feeding. Then next week I will replace one of his morning feedings with a bottle too. I will keep adding the bottles until there are no nursing sessions left. I hope the last feeding I get rid of is his bed time one. This is for selfish reasons, nursing him to sleep at night is one of my favorite things!

I will be totally switched to formula by the beginning of August. That will mean that I successfully nursed for 5 months. I am both proud of the accomplishment and disappointed that I didn't last longer. Such a bittersweet feeling.

**Solids is a whole new topic. Some mothers start solids with their little ones at 4 months but I am not quite ready. There are few things that I feel should happen first before starting solids. For me personally, I need to be finished with the nursing/formula switch first. It would be to much for Ryan to start formula and solids at the same time. But besides that I also feel that he needs to be able to sit better, show interest in food, open his mouth for a spoon, and hopefully have teeth.

My chiropractor (who as I explained in previous posts is also very much into natural health) explained to me why it is important to wait for a child to have teeth before starting solids. Without going into too much detail, when the digestive system is ready and able to properly digest food, teeth will then cut to through the gums. I know some babies don't get teeth until later, but I am going to try to hold off for a little bit and see what happens.

**So in a nutshell... July will be the formula switch, August may start some solids, and by September when he is 6 months old, we will officially start solids!

Rolling Machine

Ryan rolled for the first time (from back to front) when he turned 3 months old. But now at 4 months, he has become a rolling machine! He rolls to his tummy frequently when he is on the ground playing. There are only 2 problems with this. 1. He hates being on his tummy. I find it very funny that a baby that hates tummy time is very quick to roll onto it! 2. He rolls to his tummy in the middle of the night so I am frequently waking up to roll him back over. Once he gets older and stronger I will just let him stay on his stomach. Here is a video of his playtime and rolling attempts!

Eczema

Ryan's most recent health battle is with eczema. He always had very dry, rough skin but at 3 months it appeared to be eczema. He gets red irritated areas that ooze and get crusty (I know, gross!). The pediatrician and dermatologist both suggest a steroid cream for the hot spots and using Aveeno Eczema lotion all over his body. We also use a humidifier to try to keep his skin moist.

As a mom, I just wish I could figure out what is causing the rash instead of just treating it. I have attempted changing my diet and cutting out foods that might cause an allergy. I make sure that he only wears 100% cotton clothes. I am also re-washing all of his clothes, sheets, blankets, etc in a new detergent ( All free and clear) to see if it helps. I feel like it gets worse when he sweats and at night.

Anyway I am working on it... Ryan likes to make me work!

4 Months

Here we are again at your monthly update!  Your 4th month is off to a great start.  This past month your list of adventures has continued and you had a whole bunch of "firsts"...
- you went to Monmouth Park Race Track
-you went to your first Blue Claws game
-we celebrated Father's Day
-you spent your first full day with a baby sitter (my Aunt Diane and Lauryn)
-you had your first sleep over with GiGi and Pop
-you went to the beach and the boardwalk
-you went in the pool
-you participated in the Save the Barnegat Bay 5k

and on top of all of this, you spent a lot of time with your family and friends! 

Here are some of the highlights during this past month.

* You are 13 pounds and 11 ounces (25th percentile)
* You are still only breastfed.
* You are finally sleeping a little bit better (I am sure I am going to jinx myself for actually typing this).  But the last 2 weeks you have been going to sleep much easier and only waking up one time in the middle of the night to eat.
* You are just starting to nap in your crib, but we still have a lot of work to do with that.
* You are able to grab things and bring them up to your mouth.
* You like playing with simple toys, like Sophie the giraffe and your crinkle dog.
* You seem to be learning something new every day, its amazing to watch you figure things out.
* You are much happier very recently, you smile freguently, and you love interacting with other people.
* You are ALMOST laughing!
* You are almost completely bald, all that is left is your mullet in the back.
* Your cradle cap is almost gone, but you have very bad eczema right now, we hope that goes away as you get older.
* We think you are starting to teeth.  You drool all of the time, you put everything in your mouth, you chew on our fingers, and you are slightly cranky.  We will see.
* You are starting to show that you have ALOT of personality.  You smile, laugh, talk, flirt, cry, yell, scream, and really express your emotions well. 

Over all, there has been a huge improvement between 3-4 months of age (especially in the last 2 weeks).  You are still a fussy baby, but the good times by far outweigh the bad. I am so in love with the little man you are turning into. I can't wait to see what the next month has in store for us!

Great Weekend

Recently my posts have been about the difficult times, so today I'm going to change that up and post about the great weekend I had.  Today is my 2nd anniversary with my husband.  It's amazing how much life has changed in the past two years! 

On Saturday morning, my mom and I took Ryan to walk in the Save the Barnegat Bay 5K.  This race donates a portion of its proceeds to Mitochondrial Disease.  Since my 2 youngest cousins both suffer from Mitochondrial Disease, I try to do whatever I can to support their cause.  It was a beautiful morning to walk around the bay for this  great cause.  Then Mike took Ryan for part of the afternoon so I could go and get a facial!  It was so wonderful to get pampered and relax for an hour or so.

On Saturday night Ryan had his first sleep over with Gigi and Pops.  My parents volunteered to take him overnight so that Mike and I could celebrate our anniversary and get a good nights sleep.  We really did have a great time.  We went to dinner at Atlantic Bar and Grill, which is a great place right on the beach in Seaside Park.  It was soooo nice to split a bottle of wine and enjoy each others company.  Since this was my big night out, I didn't want to go home right after dinner, so we went to a bar for a drink.  And after all of this, we did go home and get a good nights sleep!  We even slept until 8am!

Then today, Mike did some projects around the house so I took Ryan to the beach for the first time.  It was a BEAUTIFUL day.  We didn't go for long, but Ryan napped peacefully in his stroller the whole time we were there!

We ended the nice weekend with some Mrs. Walkers Ice Cream in front of the TV.  I feel refreshed and ready to take on the upcoming week!

To top it all off, one of my best friends had her baby yesterday.  Brooklynn was born around noon and everyone is doing great.  I can't wait to go meet her this week!  Welcome to the world Brooklynn and congrats to Kelly and Jeff.

Still Overwhelmed

I'm sure I talked about this right when Ryan was born, but here is an update.  I am still totally overwhelmed by the challenges of being a mom.  Ryan is still a difficult baby.  Dr. Sears would describe him as a "high need" child.  After 16 weeks, 3 1/2 months, things are only slightly better. 

I wake up feeling exhausted because he does not sleep well at night and wakes up for the day super early.  Then Mike leaves for work and a feel a sense of panic because I have no idea what the day has in store.  Then Ryan and I go about whatever we need to do for the day, but it never goes smoothly.  By 9am we normally have already experienced Ryan's first total melt down of the day.  He shows signs that he is tired but refuses to go to sleep.  Normally he will just fuss and cry all the way through nap time until we get to his next feeding time.  The idea that he will eventually cry himself to sleep does not apply to Ryan.  Nursing always soothes him and then we have a short gap of happy baby before the craziness begins all over again.  This continues all day because Ryan does not sleep.  The longer he goes without a nap, the worse he gets.  I'm not just talking a moderate cry... I'm talking an all out scream.  One that makes him turn bright red and start choking because he is crying so hard.  By mid afternoon I attempt taking him on a car ride because sometimes that will calm him down enough that he will take a short nap.  We get in the car with no place to go, I just know that we have to go somewhere.  By time Mike gets home, we take turns trying to make the cranky baby happy until its time for bed.  He then SCREAMS through his bedtime routine.  Thank God nursing calms him down, and at this point he is finally so exhausted that he does go to sleep.  At this point I finally have time to relax or spend time with Mike, but I am normally so wiped out from the day that I just want to go straight to bed.  Plus I never know when Ryan will wake up again, so I need to sleep when he sleeps. 

Since Monday-Friday plays out like this, I am feeling totally out of sync with everything else in my life.  I have stopped working out because he doesn't sleep long enough for me to get in the work out. It takes me over a week to wash and fold a load of laundry.  I start the week with a to-do list of 10 things on it and am frustrated when its Friday and I have only completed 2 things.  I feel totally disconnected from my friends because no one wants to spend time with a colicky baby or an exhausted cranky mom.  I miss taking a shower and getting ready every day, I miss cooking a healthy meal, I miss spending time with Mike, and I miss looking forward to going out with friends on a Friday night to unwind from the week. 

To top it all off, I am STILL not completely healed from my tearing and episiotomy.  I was back at the Dr today to see what was going on and apparently I have not healed correctly and I have scar tissue that is causing a problem.  The Dr did a little procedure today in the office to help that scar tissue to heal.  My fingers are crossed that this works because she said the worst case scenario would be cutting me back open and re-stitching the whole area!  Needless to say I am still very uncomfortable and I am 16 weeks PP and still have not had sex!

I know this is all part of motherhood, but I'm totally wiped out.  Luckily weekends are better.  Its great having Mike around to help with the responsibility.  It also gives me a chance to leave the crying for an hour or two and get some things done.  And for some reason, Ryan is a better baby on the weekends.  I think this is because we are more active on the weekends.  We go to parties, visit with the grandparents, walk the boardwalk, and try to do whatever it is we would be doing if we didn't just have a baby.  So Ryan takes more naps in the car and stroller and has lots of people who are constantly paying attention to him.  People have even described Ryan as being "so happy and content" on the weekends. I really look forward to the weekends!

I know (hope) that it will eventually get better.  I follow the blog "Baby Rabies" and her first child was very similar to Ryan.  It helps to read about other mothers who have gone through the same thing.  So thank you Baby Rabies mother for sharing your story with me and giving me hope that it will get better.  And thank you for being brave enough to have a second child, which turns out to be an angel baby.  It gives me hope that if I ever decide to have another baby (right now I feel like that will never happen) there is a chance I too can have an angel baby. 

Here is to hoping that 4 months will bring out the wonderful, happy baby that I know is in there somewhere!